14 June 2008

Please, sir, can I have another?

I hate religion, but I make an effort to avoid all-out religion-bashing on my blog since I know religious people (although there are exceptions to this rule). However, this drives me crazy. I've seen it a thousand times, and it seems like the most obvious self-deluding nonsense, but again and again I see it. This woman was falsely accused of stealing some cop's gun, and spent 10 months in jail. She sued the city when she got out and won $7.7 million dollars. Her reaction:

"I'm going to go home and lie down for a little bit," an ecstatic Jackson, 41, said after the verdict. "I feel relieved. I'm happy, and I'm thanking God."

Why? Why are you thanking God? Why aren't you pissed off that God made you spend 10 months in jail, that part isn't God's fault? But it's God's doing that you got $7.7 million. God has a pretty good deal going here; he controls everything, gets to take credit for all the good stuff, but doesn't get blamed for bad things. The ultimate religious explanation for why bad stuff happens to religious people is that God gives the greatest tests to those he loves the most. Really? That sounds like a damn fine reason to not be on God's good side, maybe then I won't get thrown in jail for 10 months as part of some sadistic test. God reminds me eerily of a mafia don, and religious people are mafiosi trying to stay on his good side. When bad things happen, the don tends to punish those closest to him, so it's a lot more risky being there than being some random guy he's never heard of. But they stay there anyway, because either they hope they're going to get rewarded someday, they don't realize there's no reason to put up with it, or they're too scared to death to leave. God is Yakavetta, and theists are Rocco

And now it's all too clear why the concept of hell exists in religion, because without hell there would be no reason to put up with God's shit

EDIT: My girlfriend just sent me NeedGod.com; I recommend everyone check it out. It tells you, surprisingly, why you need God. At one point it asked me, "Does the fact that you're headed for Hell concern you?", and when I responded that it did not it exclaimed "It should concern you". Why?

Perhaps you feel safe because you don't believe in Hell. This can be likened to standing in the middle of a busy highway and shouting "I don't believe in trucks!" . . . God has given us HIS WORD on the existence and purpose of Hell...

OH. My bad. I didn't realize God has given us HIS WORD on the subject, what was I thinking. And not to nitpick or anything, but in the highway example, you can see the trucks

No comments: